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General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: José Roca on August 18, 2011, 02:44:31 AM

Title: My mother's death
Post by: José Roca on August 18, 2011, 02:44:31 AM
 
My mother has died tonight, aged 95, of a cardiac arrest. I'm heartbroken.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Frederick J. Harris on August 18, 2011, 03:10:57 AM
I'm very sorry Jose.  Very sorry.  I was lucky enough to have my mother until I was 42 - about 15 years ago.  That was the hardest loss I ever suffered.  She was the heart and soul of our family.  She passed away due to complications from rheumatoid arthratis.  Nothing has ever been the same since then.   
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: James Klutho on August 18, 2011, 03:43:26 AM
Jose

My sympathy goes to you.  I am sure she was a kind soul like you are.

Jim Klutho
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Marc Giao on August 18, 2011, 04:03:34 AM
Jose,

My heart felt sympathies on your loss, your sorrow will eventually diminish but your memories of her never will.

Sharing your grief...

Marc
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Patrice Terrier on August 18, 2011, 08:21:54 AM
Dear José,

I also loosed my mother a couple years ago, so i am sharing your affliction.

Je suis en pensé avec toi dans ces moments difficiles.




Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Theo Gottwald on August 18, 2011, 09:08:29 AM
We are with you Jose.
95 is a honourful age and we hope that you may also stay with us as long as that.

From all sorts of death a cardiac arrest is the best.

It's said that the death in this life is the birth into a new life.
Believe it or not, but if you do she will bless you from where she is now looking at you!

Naer Death Research (http://www.nderf.org/)
QuoteNDERF Is the largest Near Death Experience Website in the world with over 2500 full-text published NDE accounts.
Do we live forever?
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Petr Schreiber on August 18, 2011, 09:45:11 AM
José,

I feel really sad to hear about your loss.
I had similar situation when close family member died around this time past summer and it shaked my world very strongly.

It might sound strange, but I would recommend to change environment for a while - go visit foreign country or do some other "reset", the worst (from own experience) is to think about the one who passed away 24hours a day.
Once you return from the journey, you can settle down the things in your head with slightly lower level of strong sad emotions.


Petr
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Peter Weis on August 18, 2011, 09:47:05 AM
José,


hello I'm sorry for you but you still wish all the best. My mother died 19 years ago, has since broken family hope it does not happen to you!

regards Peter
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Jordi Vallès on August 18, 2011, 01:07:29 PM
Lo siento sinceramente, José

Jordi
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Franco Anzani on August 18, 2011, 02:43:34 PM
Le mie più sincere condoglianze

Franco
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Steve Rossell on August 18, 2011, 03:01:04 PM
I am so sorry Jose. I know this is not easy to deal with. May your strength prevail to help you through this difficult time.

Steve
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Paul Squires on August 18, 2011, 07:04:42 PM
Jose,

My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. Thinking of you and hope you'll be okay.

Paul
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Brice Manuel on August 18, 2011, 07:35:13 PM
José,

My wife and I are keeping you and your family in our prayers.  We are very saddened to hear about your loss.


Brice
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Pierre Bellisle on August 18, 2011, 08:47:45 PM
My sympathies and condolences José.

Pierre
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Donald Ping on August 18, 2011, 10:22:57 PM
My condolences José, you will be in my prayers.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: David Warner on August 19, 2011, 12:52:41 AM
Dear José,

I am so sorry to hear of your bereavement. It is such a hard thing to cope with and no-one really can ease the pain of it. Our parents instil so much of themselves into us and in that sense they continue to live on through us. Your kindness and generosity of spirit indicates that your mother passed something very special on to you. I sure she would be pleased to know just how many people you have helped and influenced around the world. She must have been immensely proud of you.

Kindest Regards,

David
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: José Roca on August 19, 2011, 01:43:12 AM
 
Many thanks to all for your recomforting words. One of the virtues that I have inherited from her is to face adversity. Only death can beat us. My mother lived in poverty for decades and survived a terrible civil war, but she was always generous and kind with everybody and nothing could wipe the smile of his face. I will miss her during the rest of my life.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Dominic Mitchell on August 19, 2011, 03:35:54 AM
My sincere condolences on the passing of your beloved mother.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Brice Manuel on August 19, 2011, 01:06:27 PM
Loss of Mother Poem

Now that I am gone,
remember me with smiles and laughter.
And if you need to cry,
cry with your brother or sister
who walks in grief beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone
and give to them what you need to give to me.
There are so many who need so much.
I want to leave you something --
something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known
or helped in some special way.
Let me live in your heart
as well as in your mind.
You can love me most
by letting your love reach out to our loved ones,
by embracing them and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.

~ Author unknown
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: José Roca on August 19, 2011, 07:38:45 PM
Beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Jules Marchildon on August 20, 2011, 03:19:32 AM

Dear José,

Please accept our condolences...

A deep heart felt sorrow sits in my soul when I hear news of ones mother passing. Celebrate your moments and memories of her forever, for she is the one that inspired you to be who you are today.

                                           ---

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.  ~Joseph Campbell


Sincerely,
Jules
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Eros Olmi on August 20, 2011, 12:26:00 PM
My condolences José.
Bring with you all the best your mother has left around.

My similar experience was that you will be able to recognize how much a parent has done and left around only after. And that was very very frustrating.
For all of you that are still lucky to have a mom and/or a dad, please think and act with them when they are still alive.


Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: José Roca on August 20, 2011, 12:48:01 PM
 
Thanks for your condolences.

I left work five years ago to care for her 24 hours a day. Despite that, I feel guilty thinking that I could have done even more and that she has left this world without fully knowing how much I loved her.

Every time I step in front of her room, I look inside as if all had been a bad dream and I was going to meet her inside.

I'm working hard again to distract my mind. I do not want to fall into depression. My elder brother, that is oligophrenic, needs me.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Haim Jamer on August 20, 2011, 03:57:46 PM
Jose
My heartfelt condolences to you.
This is a difficult time. Be strong and always remember the good times
and the good that was given you by her.
May she rest in peace.

Haim

Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Carlo Pagani on August 20, 2011, 05:06:31 PM
Ciao José
Fuerza para que durante este tiempo difícil.
Un abrazo a internet a distancia. - Carlo
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Frederick J. Harris on August 20, 2011, 09:24:00 PM
It is going to be especially hard for you then Jose, living in the same house and being constantly reminded of your mother's absence.   You'll want to guard against that the best you can. 

My mother and I were very, very close.  The advantage I had was that about four months before she passed away I had just changed jobs and was very busy working with new people and I was away on the road four days out of seven.  As much as I wanted to dwell on my terrible loss, I simply wasn't able to.  I was that busy at work and people were depending on me.   When I came home though for my three day weekends, I saw how hard things were going with my poor father who was retired and at home and missing mom.  They had been married for 55 years.  So I would try to help my dad and just being around helped him.  One tries to hold on to what's left, and my coming home meant a lot to my father.   

The thing that all mothers want for their children is to be happy and be the best that they can be, so whenever I find myself getting depressed and wanting to give up, I tell myself to snap out of it, and I tell myself that my parents sacrificed so much for me, and that I'd be doing them a dishonor to not continue trying to do worthwhile things with what time I have left.   That line of thought usually helps me.     

You've helped so many of us here Jose I know I'm not alone in wishing there would be something I could do for you to help.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Daren Oliver on August 20, 2011, 09:36:00 PM
My condolences José :(

My father is in hospital with a tap in his skill after having an aneurysm. I feel I may be in the same place as you shortly.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: José Roca on August 20, 2011, 10:05:02 PM
 
I'm very sorry to hear this. Hope he will recover.
Title: Re: My mother's death
Post by: Christopher Boss on August 21, 2011, 04:59:42 AM
Very sorry to hear about your mothers death.

No words can take away the pain.

It is even more difficult when one is very close to ones parent.

I do take solice in one Bible story:

When Jesus was about to resurrect his friend Lazarus (a wonderful bible hope) the Bible says he (Jesus) "gave way to tears".

Just think about it. He was about to bring the dead man back to life, yet he felt so deeply for the dead man (as well as the dead mans living sisters Martha amd Mary who were suffering) that he "gave way to tears".

No wonder the Bible refers to death as the "last enemy".

It is only normal when one loses someone very close to "give way to tears". It demonstrates how deeply we cared about them and how important they were to us.

When losing a loved one it is important to always remember them. Never forget the joys you shared.